3 Replies Latest reply on Sep 2, 2010 12:38 PM by neelikiwi

    Foster

    Trafton
      My sons are in there late thirties but have not achieved independence.  One is in a bad marriage, etc.  I do note that this crash is even worse than the 70s when I had young children and struggled to get by. Well there is Jason Robard's line from Parenthood, "You never get into the endzone.  You never get to spike the ball."
        • Re: Foster
          neelikiwi
          The solution to this problem is to help your sons get the skills that will lead to independence. The Obama administration offers help to people who want to go back to school in the form of tax deduction for tuition and related expense, government sponsored loans etc. Will they consider going back to school?
          • Re: Foster
            JerryD
            I can relate to your concern and have experience with it too. Not that I have an answer to this difficult question, but I wonder from time to time about what's different between when I was young (and my parents too) and the current generation. Seems like I went to school while staying at home and then at 22 just left and I was on my own. I don't recall even thinking of asking my parents for any financial help no matter how bad things got, and they got bad at times. It seems to be an interesting question that possibly others here have some insight on.

            Just a thought. I love the book"The Millionaire Next Door" and to a lesser degree some of the follow on books. Some here may criticize this series but I am amazed by the author's insights. One of the areas that the author spends lots of time on is what he calls "economic outpatient care". This involves behavior that especially the well off seem to exhibit when it comes to "helping out" the kids. We all seem to want to keep our kids from experiencing life's trials and pain and in turn cause some very undesirable outcomes. I think that there are some excellent observations and examples in these books of how helping out the kids leads to instilling some very poor traits in them. I would strongly recommend getting a copy or at least checking it out at the library.


            • Re: Foster
              neelikiwi
              I mentioned earlier that going back to school would be a pathway to independence for your sons.I would like to add that  going back to school can be made much easier if you work for an organization that will pay for it. One of these organization is Verizon. If your sons can find any job there they can go to school for free.