For those who posted something about placement for your loved ones. I feel your pain, I worked in the nursing homes and assisted livings for over 25 years, I now do private duty hoping I can spare one person for having to place there loved one in a home.
One suggestion: beleive what your loved one is telling you and show up at ALL times of the day or night. You need to know what goes on behind close doors. No one will tell you what is happening.
Long term care insurance will help out with this and not leave you so torn financially. Not that I am selling long term insurance but for the clients I have who have that it makes the burden less.
My aunt, the baby of the family (6 deceased) and she lives in the house she was born in which sits on 5 acres. She and her dog share the home and a caregiver comes in approximately 2 hours in the a.m. (to get her breakfast and get her going) and 2 hours at night (dinner is prepared and they eat together). She says she's not going anywhere unless it's feet first.
My mother lived with Aunti M and (I found out) did everything for them - cooked, cleaned, decision making. Now Aunti M has me to do her $$$ and put out her daily pills plus go with her to doc appointments. She is 87 years old, uses bad language as adjectives (in the doc's office or out in public - she's cut it down somewhat). I've been doing this for 5 years since my mother passed away -
My cousin helps when she can but she still works and has COPD plus her husband's family is demanding of their time. I'm 68 and tired. I am married to a wonderful man who is 10 years older than I and now he is starting to show periodic signs of dementia. I have a 41 year old son who is developmentally disabled (who is finally living in a mentoring home). My mother used to say "she wanted to run away". I feel the same way plus I am being sucked of any chance of happiness. I look around and other people have the same problems - I guess it's the time of life. I want desperately to be rid of Aunti M - BUT I know the guilt would eat me and I will never be able to turn loose of her responsibilities until she dies.
Retrieving data ...