Having companions and close friends is important to some, and others (myself included) require a lot of solitude. Most large cities have retirement communities with all kinds of clubs (book, investment, bridge, etc.). I'll move to nearby Robson Ranch in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area if I ever get bored. They have country club, golf course, greenbelt hiking trails, a huge athletic club, etc., etc., and the prices are coming down fast. A small home there today costs $190K minus 10-15% depending upon your haggling expertise.
I find retirement totally liberating and while I had a productive career, I do not miss it in the least.
I love retirement, but miss the teaching so keep my hand in by tutoring a few students. That keeps me young.
Marriage is better since I see more of my husband and we actually have TIME for each other...like young lovers all over again.
My aging parents lived to their mid 90's without any help from me...independent till the last few months of life. I hope I will be as fortunate as they to live in my own home into my 90's on my own, independent-- no retirement place for me!
I love the freedom of no time constrictions...free to camp in the wilderness, ride a bike anywhere I please, ski in the winter while the students are in school, and just wander around the world, enjoying what it has to offer.
When my husband retires, we will move to Monterey county to be near the ocean. Since it is such an expensive area, we will just get a little 1bedroom cottage by the sea, get rid of the cars, and walk everywhere!
. . . we will move to Monterey County . . .
Bingo. There's your clean air.
Plus, that's Steinbeck country.
Hopeful, you have a whole different set of issues with health. I have taken care of my mother so I do understand to some degree. However, living alone is different again. I agree with keeping busy, learning new things, cultivating friends, maybe volunteering, etc. I myself try to do those things, plus I still work. But at the end of the day, say about 2:00 a.m. when it seems like you are alone in the world, it is still hard. I own my own home, but it wouldn't be condusive to getting a roommate and even if I was willing to move-in with someone else, it would be hard to make that upheaval just for the sake of not being alone. I think the best thing, besides friends and family, is to always have something to learn and/or something to look forward to. I find that is a great distraction and can be quite rewarding. My other thing is to work on my health (always room for improvement) and keep exercising, which in my case, is usually walking.
I'm not retired yet, but I'm feeling the same empty nest blues. At 51, I'm home alone. Life is now an altered reality. After living your life always taking care of someone, to find yourself alone, is quite the challenge. Divorced, kids gone, I too want to find that special someone to share life with. I know I need to make that big step, but...
I don't think I ever been alone in my life until now. I am enjoying it to no end. Being alone for the first time in my life has made me realize that now I can do all the "me" things I couldn't do before. My family always came first and I almost forgot "me".
Life is good!!
I felt the same way when my son grew up. I had him late, so he is 21 and I am 58. He still "lives" at home but is his own man now, as it should be. At first I thought of adopting a child, because I really enjoyed motherhood, but decided I was too old to start over:)! So I applied to Big Brothers and Big Sisters and was just recently matched with a 7 year old girl. I never had daughters, so this has been a learning experience for me. We are having fun and building rapport right now and this fills a need for me and helps her at the same time. I still teach full-time, but I have started taking on some other volunteer opportunities. My classes, son and I have adopted a portion of highway through ODOT to keep litter-free and we do that 4 times a year. I have always been involved in church and can do a little more now in my Episcopal Church. And I spend a lot of time with my two rescue dogs, Darby and Charley. Hope this is of help. Think of this as a new start for you as a woman and as an individual to develop new interests. Blessings!
ps. I'm also learning how to crochet!
My situation is a little different but the results are similar...I lost my wife to early Alzheimer's...took a while to get adjusted...what got me through was a village of people/friends...the kindness of people continues to amaze me...a suggested solution: friends, friends, friends...AND volunteer for activities which interest you...
The difficulties expressed by the many posts here are exactly why I have moved to co-housing. I live at Daybreak Co-housing in Portland, Oregon. I have my own apartment, and thus, have all the solitude I choose to have. But I also live in a very close-knit community. I see my neighbors regularly, and we have regular activities and meetings and meals so I am involved with them nearly every day. We share a large Common House with a commerical kitchen and large dining area. We have meals about twice a week, right now at a very reasonable $5 per meal. Last night we hosted the neighborhood's holiday party. A local church's movie discussion group has met in our Common House, and next Sunday we are planning a cookie baking party. We have all ages, from a 16 month old to a 75 year old. When I need help I can find someone with the right knowledge -- from how to fix a computer glitch to what to plant in the yard. We pooled all of our tools, so now I have a very complete workshop at my disposal, but also multiple neighbors to recommend how to go about a project.
I think co-housing is perfect for those of us of retirement age who find ourselves on our own, but who still want to be more connected in a regular way with others. There are co-housing groups all across the country. Check them out!
I'm so sorry to hear about your wife. My mother-in-law had the disease and so I do understand what you went through in that short time. Yes, friends! Bless them. A good job helps. And I do volunteer at my college and in the community and I believe in getting outside yourself in that way. And it's fun! I send my best.
I would recommend that you not rush into any relationship soon after a divorce. I hear you that you want to have a social life and do things. Have you thought of volunteering for something that you think you would like. You can get matched up online with Volunteer match and other places. Some ideas are the library, a food bank, a local school , hospital. If you are busy doing things maybe some of the other areas of concern will fall into place. Another good thing to do is to take a class at the local adult education. Good Luck.
The Empty nest is hard to fill even if you have grandchildren. Volunteering is probably the most useful activity if you are interested in what you are doing. Having good health is very important so doing things to keep healthy is paramount to a good retirement. Exercise can be fun, and being with other people in the same condition helps a lot. Zumba is a great exercise to get involve in. You exercise while dancing. The only problem here is how good a dancer you are, but even if you are not it is still fun. Having a companion also helps, but sometimes we can't find the right person. My last comment is to continuie working for as long as you can.
Retrieving data ...